More than anything, it seems that some people are simply naturally better-suited to being penetrated by large objects. Bottoming can require diligent preparation, athleticism (riding someone's dick isn't easy on the thighs) and occasionally a high threshold for pain or discomfort. Bottoming is often conceptualised as an act so passive that all it entails is lying there and allowing someone else to be good (or bad) in bed. This is about being worried that you're not good enough at getting fucked, rather than fucking. Although other bottoms would love that – and I am an unswerving bottom – I've always preferred smaller and less girthy dicks." Until this day, his dick appears monstrously huge to me. "Most notably, it's about me not being a particularly good bottom for my boyfriend. "There are definitely some underlying worries," Dan admits. But perhaps looking at the specificities of gay cucking can tell us something about the anxieties of gay men.
Are these anxieties strictly heterosexual in nature? Not really – and in any case, we should be wary of trying to directly transpose straight sexual dynamics onto gay ones.
Sometimes these are related to money or status (take, for example, the common fantasy of being cucked by one's boss, a sub-genre that brings up 1,795 searches on Pornhub), other times they're rooted in perceived physical superiority, muscularity and penis size. There is something reassuring in knowing that life goes back to normal."Ĭucking, gay or straight, can be considered a way of eroticising male anxieties the bull (the third party who becomes involved with cuckold couples) becomes a blank canvas upon which all sorts of insecurities are projected. A lot of the bottoms he has sex with, he won't ever message or meet again. "There's no talk of it in our everyday life. "My boyfriend is quite good, in that once he's had sex, no matter how hot it is, and however humiliated or jealous I feel, that's it – until he's next horny," he says. Happily for Dan, who now runs a popular Twitter account and OnlyFans dedicated to cucking, these feelings of anxiety or humiliation are easily compartmentalised. But how does a fetish based around ideas of patriarchal ownership and thwarted masculinity work in a gay context?įor many gay cucks, the fetish falls within a larger dom/sub dynamic with their partner – it's about making the top feel doubly alpha and dominant. It's perhaps most visible on Twitter, which has become an incubator for kink since Instagram and tumblr both clamped down on adult content, as well as being one of the main sites where OnlyFans performers build their audience. On hook-up apps like Grindr and Recon (a fetish-specific equivalent), it's not hugely common to see couples into cucking, but it's not unheard of either. The majority of gay cuck videos are amateur user uploads, which suggests this isn't merely a top-down fantasy dreamt up by porn directors. Meanwhile, a spokesperson for Pornhub told me via email that "gay searches for 'cuckold' average around 200,000 per month", making it "more popular in 2020 than it was in early 2018". What began as a heterosexual fetish is now increasingly common among gay men, both in porn and in real life.Īccording to Google trends, searches for the phrase "gay cuck Twitter" have increased by a staggering 400 percent percent over the last 12 months. However, it wasn't until the early 2000s that people really started wanking en-masse to the idea of women cheating on their hapless husbands (and it has, traditionally, been about women). Think of Chaucer and Shakespeare Tolstoy and Flaubert Les Dennis, Amanda Holden and Neil Morrissey.
Stories of cuckolding have a long cultural history.